UPDATE: This is NOT a diet review. This is a satire on the extremes of the Keto diet. For a full keto diet review check this out
Abbey Sharp is back again with Dietitian Abby Langer to discuss another fad diet. In this episode of Abbey’s Kitchen the Ketogenic Fad Diet, or Keto Diet as it’s more commonly referred to comes under heavy fire due to the unhealthy way it causes your body to shed pounds for the general healthy population.
While browsing the web looking for crazy fad diets to put on the chopping block Abbey recently came across a Reddit thread entitled “What weird and great things to eat on Keto”. The Keto Diet has gained major steam recently and it is almost impossible not to bump into it while browsing the web for dieting solutions. The core of the Ketogenic diet is the consumption of high fat low carb foods. The idea behind the diet is to force your body to burn fat for energy instead of glucose. This is a problem because the brain functions optimally on glucose.
The first dish they dive into recommended for Keto Diet users is a bowl of heavy cream with bouillon in it and some cracked pepper. The claim is that this tastes just like cream of chicken soup. Abbey and Abby reluctantly each grab a spoon and take a taste, noting that there is a rather unsavory film across the top of the cream. Abby goes so far as to instantly try to wipe the concoction off of her tongue and the other Abbey looks like she just ate a bad lemon. Abbey states with great conviction that she is truly sad for this person who has been forcing themselves to eat this dreadful mix of ingredients in an effort to lose weight. Both ladies also mention how sad they are that this beautiful cream has been utterly wasted when it could have been used to make a delicious chocolate mousse.
The next dish they try is comprised of clear broth and mayonnaise. Abbey says she has no problem with mayonnaise when used properly, for example on a sandwich, not put directly into clear broth and eaten. The other Abby says this is like combining meatballs and orange juice which is a fair comparison. After spooning a bit of mayo onto the tip of their spoons they scoop up a bit of broth and take the plunge. After tasting the combination to two had a distinct look of disdain on their faces. Abbey states that this seems like something some poor starving student came up with right in the middle of second semester when the food budget was dipping low. The two ladies suggest a more reasonable, and tastier alternative, ramen noodles.
The next item on the Keto Diet menu was comprised of four slices of rather cheap looking American cheese, Vegemite, and butter. The instructions given were to spread a large amount of butter on the cheese along with Vegemite and basically create a cheese sandwich minus the bread. Again, they boldly combine the ingredients and eat them. This was so bad that Abby actually got up from the tasting table and fled to go wash her mouth out leaving her tasting partner alone at the table who told her to come back because she needed support to make it through the ordeal. Needless to say this is a terrible tasting way to diet. This tasted even worse than the mayonnaise and broth combination.
Abbey also found an interesting suggestion from a Reddit user saying that when her family eats spaghetti she swaps out the noodles for cottage cheese. Again, both ladies bite the bullet and give this a taste test. Abby states very clearly that what she ate is just sick, the other Abbey seems to shed a tear in honor of what could have been fantastic spaghetti. She suggests several alternatives to this meal. A person could just as easily swap in spaghetti squash in place of the noodles, or make some zucchini noodles and have the cottage cheese as dessert. These two food items were never meant to be combined, period.
The last dish from the Keto Diet taste tested was a colorful fluorescent array of little balls that strongly resemble the consistency of Play-Doh. These were not received well either.
After all that taste testing both women decide the best possible move to cleanse their palettes at this point is to go grab a piece of real, properly made cake. The verdict on these Ketogenic Diet recipes is clear- while they dont represent the diet as a whole, they’re extraordinarily disgusting.
For more tips on staying healthy, recipes, dieting, and information fit for consumption by foodies everywhere stop by Abbey’s blog.